Is my toddler imitating me?

Try blowing a raspberry. Does your toddler blow a raspberry? Try closing your eyes and wiggling your nose like a rabbit. Does little Judy, Brian, or Lucy follow? By a certain age, toddler will learn by watching you. They’ll also learn by watching peers. Learning by watching isn’t just limited to toddlers. We, as adults, learn by watching…let’s take American football for example.

Do you see the player’s football in his hands? Most of the time, no. But you know who has it because everyone is chasing him. We learn what’s important by watching others. We learn what ought to be sought after by watching others. How others respond gives us a shortcut to figuring out what the rules are, in real time.

Toddlers? They better be good at learning and being cute, because they’re the ones giving rise to the human species, one generation at at time. Imagine, if toddlers weren’t cute, we’d abandon them. Why would we want to tend to a menacing miniature version of ourselves? The oxytocin bonds us. Furthermore, toddlers are hardwired to seek out and enjoy human faces. Think of cats, they’re hardwired to feel aggression and chase wiggly things. Imitation is our shortcut to learning. We might not learn why something is worth doing. We might not have experienced the consequences of not doing a thing. We learn by imitation, partly, out of love.

Fun fact: we have neurons called “mirror neurons” which enable us to detect and unconsciously imitate our peers. The more attuned we are to others, the more likely we are to mirror them…or imitate them. Have you ever chatted with a coworker during a lunch break, only to lose track of time? And then on top of that, you catch yourself shifting hips and holding your thermos the same way? I’ll bet ya’ that was some mirror neuron action going on. Sweet! Back to work…

Is your toddler imitating you? It’s worth asking because it’s important. Social learning starts in the family. It starts with toddlers and their caregivers. Try different things: does their babble change to match your tone of voice? Do they clap when you clap? Do they pick up finger foods when you pick up finger foods? Do they stack blocks when you stack blocks? Do they display caution when you display caution? Do they fart when you fart? Fart? …Likely not, because that would be a stretch! But all the rest is fair game. Let’s not rule out picking the nose. Note to self, be mindful who is watching when picking nose. Maybe just blow into a tissue…and remember to wash your hands with soap and water. Now that’s a scene worth passing on.

Written by Jeannie Tso on September 25th, 2021